The Desire

 The desire is there.
The motivation, the discipline is not there anymore.
I want to write.

I wanted to write all day. But nope. It's now getting later and I'm closer but still... It's like working out and being healthy. It's just hard. Until you decide that, even small moments work.

I read a book in 2021 that was called Atomic Habits. A book about improving by 1% and keep doing it until the habit is there. 1-2 minutes of writing sounds ridiculous. But I know after doing it a few days/weeks in a row, I will get better and the habit will get longer. He talked about habit stacking, etc. Now, I am just trying to find things that I do on a normal basis to stack more habits on. 

Here's hoping that either tonight or tomorrow is better.  

First Time Printed

I can't describe the feeling I had the other day when I finally printed out my book. All 68,000 words. It was an amazing feeling. I printed three copies and man! Seeing it just printed gave me goosebumps. It was better than Christmas. It was all my heart and soul in one spot.  I didn't hit my goal of what I wanted to hit before I printed it this time. I'm hoping with the changes etc, it will grow just a few more words. Goal is 70,000 for what I'm wanting to do.
As I sat holding it in my arms, so many emotions rant through me. Proud, happiness, joy, sadness, terrified, etc. Everything ran through me. Every worse case scenario, every best case scenario. My hubby just looked at me strange as I hugged them tighter. My manuscript. Printed. In that moment, I was a true author. Whether I get it published or not. Whether someone likes it or not. I'm an author. I completed a book from start to finish.

now to start on the next one...

Start Writing

 Writing has always been something that pulls at my soul. It's something that I can't get away from no matter what I do. Somedays I can't write anything. I am blank. But the next day maybe, I can't stop the words from flowing. 

I don't sit and try to write most of the time. I only write when I feel something and I think that has gotten me into trouble. I don't write for days or weeks. Then one day I'll write and the next 7 or so I won't. I'm not consistent. I need to be. I need to make routines for my personal life and my writing life. 

One of the good advice I found one day on Pinterest was to write everyday. No matter how you feel. And to leave the last sentence you were writing incomplete. So at least when you first sit down to write, you finish the sentence and write something good. I liked that saying and it worked so much. I did it for the entire book I wrote. The editing is what has got me stuck. 

I am blank and I feel like I have finished that story. So I want to write and work on something else but their story needs to be finished. Kasey and Sarah need to have their story told, before I leave them. They were the first and they should be finished. One way or other another, you are going to meet Kasey and Sarah. You are going to fall in love with them and their story. Then you are going to wonder about Celine. 

One Brave Step Forward

It's a scary thing... to realize that for 2 years you have shut down. 

A pandemic hit. A normal routine was thrown off completely. A massive job change. A new job. And new worries. A war on the other side of the world. 

Two years is a long time. You don't even realize it has past til you pick up your book and try to edit.  That is where I am. Finishing the edits I started two years ago.  Writing two more at the same time. But this time coming back with a passion and a goal. 

I mean honestly I had a passion, but the goal was fuzzy.
Submit my first book for publishing. .
.. Wow, when I look back and think about it.
I swear... I didn't know what I was doing.   

So in 2020, I re-met a lady who always inspired me even when our interactions were very brief before. Through our many conversations that year, she mentioned that she had published a book. I was like What?!? How?!? Her life was as busy as mine, but without a husband but with a kid. It sounded like a dream. Someone like me? Who dreamed of doing it and then did it? 

We chatted about it awhile. She was afraid to share her title with me. I guess she was worried what anyone would think. Didn't even use her real name. She had self-published it through Amazon. 

What are your thoughts? Amazon? Traditional way? What? 

Second Draft/Beta Readers

Let's catch up!

During the last year-ish I have continued to write and have about three possible novels in the works. I got my first reads back from my first finished novel and they were super positive. So now I'm on to the next steps. 

I can't just keep it to myself and send it out to publishers yet. I need more people to read it and tell me what they think. I need the feedback and I need the support. I just this past weekend sent out a call for beta readers, basically people who can read it and tell me what they think!

I'm so excited but also so so terrified. I mean think about it, your work out there to be loved or hated by people who know you. That is almost more scary than a book review of your book. (Which I won't lie I'll probably be terrified there too.)

Stay tuned! I'm working on my goal and I'm not quitting yet. even if I forget to update this blog.

The Perfect Writing Moment

Sadly doesn't exist.
For years, I have been waiting for a moment. Where in my perfectly crafted office/reading space, I would be able to sip wine and create a beautifully written romance novel. I imagined in that space everything would come together and the words would flow from my fingers. I imagined that I could find amazing amounts of time just to write. I dreamed of a space of light and comfort. I dreamed of somewhere I could never not be uncomfortable. I dreamed of a space where people would just leave me alone to write. I dreamed of all of these things.

And guess how much I wrote? Not enough to be called a novelist or a real writer. I was a hobbyist who wrote only when the mood struck me. I had never realized that until a few years ago when I attempted National Novel Writing Month. You learn a lot when you challenge yourself and push yourself to write every day no matter what. You're no longer waiting for the perfect moment. You are just looking for space to spend some time writing --whether it is at the kitchen table, on your bed, or on the sofa or even at a coffee shop.

So I challenge you as I write again this month with a goal in mind. Not a perfect moment but a word goal.... Good luck to you... And to myself and hopefully we will create together...

Goal No. 1 ACHIEVED!!!

I did it.

I did it.

I did it.

For the first time ever in my life, I did it. I hit 50,000 words on a story!!!! 90 pages!!! I can't believe it!!! During the month of June, I have been fighting to finish my novel. You know the one I started two years ago during NaNoWriMo... and still haven't finished! This summer I decided for once and for all, I'm going to stick with it and finish it. My major goal is to be able to say we are on the revision stage by August 1st. But my first goal was just to hit 50,000 words like what I had hoped in November for like two years. 

Well on this past Saturday, I did it. I hit 50,000 WORDS!!! 

I cannot express with words how much this means to me. How accomplished I feel. How happy and motivated I feel. It's a first draft. It's in the beginning stages, but it's almost finished. I hit the over halfway mark. I hit it. A goal that I thought I'd never hit. A goal that has taunted me for years. I finally hit it. The story itself is not over yet. It has still about 20,000 words to go til I can call it finished and ready for someone else to read it. But the goal that seemed kind of impossible at the beginning of the month is definitely feeling a whole lot more possible!